This blog post explores the challenge of self-doubt that can arise in the role of a second mom in complex adoptive and blended families. Trust in the primary caregiver, mom, can sometimes be lacking from non-biological children, not due to any fault of the (adoptive/step) mom, but because of the children's own backgrounds. This can lead to feelings of shame or unworthiness, which in turn creates self-doubt for the second mom. The post offers four strategies to stand up to self-doubt and build self-trust, including making and keeping commitments to oneself, practicing self-reflection and challenging negative thought patterns, practicing self-compassion, and prioritizing self-care as an act of self-stewardship. The author emphasizes that by building their own self-trust, second moms can authentically model this behavior for their children and help them develop their own self-trust.

 

Being a caregiver to children who have suffered trauma, particularly adoptive mothers, can be very challenging and lead to burnout. One way to avoid this is by setting emotional boundaries. These types of boundaries are the dividing lines that protect the separation of your emotional experiences from those of others.

By setting boundaries around emotional experiences, you can protect yourself from being trampled upon by others, as well as from absorbing someone else's emotions that could lead to burnout and compassion fatigue. You can take breaks when needed, set clear expectations, and ask for help when required while keeping your emotions protected. Setting up a free clarity call with emotional boundary expert and coach Dawn Baggett is also an option for anyone looking to implement this type of self-care practice.