NEED NEW GLASSES?
Have you ever been to the eye doctor and found out that your vision prescription has changed? Similarly, there are factors that can limit our relational vision, and it can change over time as well. It can be helpful to our vision of our relationships to look through different lenses. Below I share some thoughts on different types of lenses for you to consider - especially if there are any hints or clues that your current lens might be causing you to miss something.
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Wouldn’t you agree that parenting is sometimes hard work? How about when the dynamics of family life change with the addition of adopted children or stepchildren?
In my experience as an adoptive mom, it can be difficult to navigate through conflicting advice, unreasonable expectations, and ever-evolving relationships in a bustling household. Roles and responsibilities that aren’t clearly defined can make for increased conflicts - ask me how I know. I’ve learned that when we learn to better manage expectations (ours first, then those of others) while also allowing ourselves grace to do our best within these changing circumstances, we can steer our way through with much less distress.
Always feeling behind?
“When all of you is still not enough”
Being an adoptive or step mom can feel like you’ve embarked upon a daunting task to try to fill the void that your child already has. I know those types of feelings. It can feel like a tremendous responsibility. But as adoptive or step moms we must remember that we cannot make up for any losses in our children's lives – but instead can focus on providing stability for all of our children. Even as they push against that very stability they need.
The Feeling of Insufficiency
It is very common for adoptive or step moms to feel behind and that they are not enough. This feeling of insufficiency may stem from the idea that they do not have the same connection as the biological parent, leading them to feel as if they are lacking something. However, this feeling of insufficiency is normal and it does not have to define the relationship with your child.
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