NEED NEW GLASSES?
Have you ever been to the eye doctor and found out that your vision prescription has changed? Similarly, there are factors that can limit our relational vision, and it can change over time as well. It can be helpful to our vision of our relationships to look through different lenses. Below I share some thoughts on different types of lenses for you to consider - especially if there are any hints or clues that your current lens might be causing you to miss something.
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Wouldn’t you agree that parenting is sometimes hard work? How about when the dynamics of family life change with the addition of adopted children or stepchildren?
In my experience as an adoptive mom, it can be difficult to navigate through conflicting advice, unreasonable expectations, and ever-evolving relationships in a bustling household. Roles and responsibilities that aren’t clearly defined can make for increased conflicts - ask me how I know. I’ve learned that when we learn to better manage expectations (ours first, then those of others) while also allowing ourselves grace to do our best within these changing circumstances, we can steer our way through with much less distress.
When a child is adopted, it is often thought that their previous traumatic experiences will automatically disappear. However, this is not always the case. In fact, many adopted children suffer from the effects of their childhood trauma long after they have been removed from the abusive environment.
This can be due to a number of factors. For example, some adoptees may feel like they are not worthy of love and support because they were given up by their birth parents. Others may feel like they are constantly being judged by others because of their adoption status. As a result, these adoptees may struggle to form healthy relationships with others and may struggle with self-esteem issues.
It is important to remember that childhood trauma does not go away automatically once a child is removed from their previous environment.
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