As humans we often encounter misperceptions and misunderstandings.
People are naturally skeptical of things that are different. Even prior to adopting you’ve likely faced misunderstanding and misperceptions due to your Christian beliefs or in other contexts.
In our adoptive families, there is often lots of fuel for the fires of skepticism, leading to flames of misperceptions and misunderstandings. These can even grow into a raging wildfire threatening to overtake the entire structure of the family.
Sources of Skepticism Vary
You’re probably familiar with some of the sources such as culture differences which occur in international adoptions, but also in others where cultural differences collide.
There are differences in the idea of what “family” means, the roles and responsibilities different family members have (or “should” have) and sometimes language differences within the adoptive family itself fuel misunderstandings. Mental and emotional disabilities or damage can certainly be a huge source.
Assumptions and beliefs that we’ve been holding may be challenged like never before.
Fears and misplaced mistrust can fuel a lot of misperceptions. A pattern of triangulation often develops in which previously trusting parents begin to mistrust each other.
Within the home, misunderstandings & misperceptions can be fueled by coping skills that were once adaptive for your adopted child but are now maladaptive and undermine your efforts to parent in a connected way.
Lingering effects from early childhood traumas can result in many misunderstandings and misperceptions from inside the family, and outside.
What makes your family stand out
as different than others?
All families are different. But some differences may be viewed with more skepticism. What makes your family stand out as different than others? It may be something obvious like skin colors that don’t match or not so obvious like your child always pushing you away during outings or “mommy shopping” at church. It may be your well-fed child’s lingering food insecurity that shows up at school. Or many, many other things that draw skepticism. 
It can feel like you’re fighting a blazing wildfire alone with only a small water bucket and that bucket has holes!
If you’re feeling this right now, feeling the heat of the flames, I want you to know you are not alone. Don’t be surprised. Remember WHO you are and as a Christian, remember WHOSE you are. Recognize that you have stepped into a Spiritual Battle and that you cannot fight it alone (or merely on a physical battlefield).
And as always,
keep learning, keep growing & keep loving.
💜🩷♥️
Dawn
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Post Adoption (Mom) Coach
“STANDING IN THE GAP FOR 2ND MOMS”
Publishing this podcast & companion blog is one way that I stand in the gap for second moms with similar challenges to what I’ve gone through myself as an adoptive mom.
Listen & subscribe to the podcast for free on your favorite listening platform.
(Scroll down for Apple Podcasts & Spotify links).
The companion Circle of Second Moms Facebook group is a place to go deeper on topics that we touch on in the public podcast episodes along with guided journaling and more. Tap the JOIN LINK HERE for group access.
Group members who want next level support through private coaching with me are invited to apply to my private coaching program.
Through these avenues it’s my desire that many adoptive moms are able to close the gap and feel fully supported in a way that align with their Christian values and helps them grow in their faith while feeling more confident and empowered in their mom roles and beyond.
