Do you sometimes feel like you're in a fog?
Fog = F - O - G for Fear, Obligation, Guilt.
If you feel like you're in a lingering fog in your adoptive family this is for you.
Holiday Peace Planning
We know that holidays are beautiful, Christmas is wonderful. I love Christmas and maybe you do too. But it can also be stressful and overwhelming. And it can be a lot of different things. It can be very emotional, both good and maybe not so good negative emotions.
And so for our adoptive and complex families it can be it can have another layer or 10 added to what's kind of typical and so if you're right now feeling really, really concerned about going through the rest of this holiday season going into Christmas and New Year's Eve and the school break and all the food and all the family or all the get togethers or maybe all the expectations…
Today’s topic is emotional boundaries.
In particular on this episode I’m focusing on emotional boundaries for moms like me. In many of our adoptive families children have suffered an enormous degree of trauma and in particular the loss of not only their first mother but other caregivers as well in their formative years.
Different Types of Boundaries
You’ve seen & heard quite a bit about setting boundaries by now I suppose. And perhaps you have a good grip on what it means to set personal boundaries with others, and have even put this into practice in your own life. Even so, to make sure that we’re on the same page today, you need to know that what I mean by the word “boundaries” is that dividing line (boundary) you make to protect something of yours from trespass by another that says you will not continue past that line (boundary) with the other person. In practice it may sound something like, “I will not continue listening to you yell obscenities at me;” a boundary to protect your finances might sound like, “I will not continue paying you while your work is unfinished;” one to protect property – “I won’t leave without locking the door first”; one to protect physical safety – “I won’t stay in the house where there are unsecured weapons.”
With all these various boundaries to protect different things, there may be an emotional component. But today I want us to pick apart and focus primarily on emotional boundaries. You may set boundaries to protect your time, your physical body, your work/ability to get work done, your belongings. You can also set boundaries to protect your emotional safety.
