New Season for Legacy Living TODAY!
The new fall season starts with this first podcast after my taking a summer break.  I was still busy though and while fall is a busy time of year it's a different type of busy.  There seems to be a bit more structure and settled-ness among the troops (the boys in the household).  

And with not only school but football starting up my youngest, is away for a bunch of hours and tired when he gets home so not a lot of room for drama there.  And my older (turning 20!) guy is working a new job with longer (but more consistent) hours.  With my husbands topsy turvy work schedules over most of the past 30+ years I've learned to be flexible and fit my to-do items in between and around it. 

 All that said to say, it was a nice break but I'm glad to be back podcasting! 

You'll notice a new format and hopefully it'll get better with a few tweaks here and there. I'm still a baby podcaster and growing, y'all. 

This episode answers the question, 

which is correct to say, "adoptive" or "adopted"?  

Listen below. 


Today I’m answering the question— when is it correct to use the word adopted with an ED on the end versus “adoptive” ending in -ive?.

So I’m not the only one that has attempted to answer this question and I’m going to refer to

According to Grammarist, "adopted" with an ED usually describes the adopted - the person who is passive in the adoption process - that would be the child.  "Adoptive" ending in IVE usually describes the adopter or the parent. 

So an adopted child is raised by his or her adoptive parents. 

The article goes on to explain that this is a useful distinction that’s not always born out in practice and that you will see and hear people use the two words interchangeably... and really it’s not that big of a deal to say adoptive in referring to anyone who is someone related to or having to do with an adoption or adoption relationship. 

However it doesn’t quite work the same the other way around. When you use the word "adopted" it usually describes the person who is doing or has done the adopting and so the adopted child is raised by the adoptive parent or parents. It would not be fitting to say the "adopted parent" if the child (or someone else) has not adopted that parent or that adult according to the article.

This is a very interesting topic, because I have read some research recently that shed light, and just put into words, something that I’ve kind of mulled over a bit as it really kind of made an impact with me. In the research I was reading while working on the Moms For Real - Reset course, it brought about the idea that as children age - as they grow up and become young adults - then within the relationships the young adult (the child - now young adult) has really individuated (I think it’s the technical or scientific term) from the parents, the adoptive parents, and for that relationship to continue it becomes necessary for the adopted to now choose to “readopt” in a sense, the parent. The parent can be available, but the young adult is now in control of their own life and choices as to who they want a relationship with.  

In looking at this distinction between the words adopted and adoptive, this also came to mind:  

I thought, isn’t that the way it is with us and God!? 

He is ready, willing and able to adopt us; he loves us and makes us the offer, makes himself available to us. Even if we’ve been “adopted” into God’s family previously, we can choose whether to be in relationship, whether to ignore him, to busy ourselves with other things or people, and to distance ourselves from him.  

Or we can make it a practice, an ongoing choice, to “readopt” or reaffirm our relationship with the God of the universe at every opportunity. 

So are you clear when to say adopted and when to say adoptive? 

It seems pretty clear to me but then again, I have gotten some confused responses when I’ve mentioned supporting adoptive moms, as if I was speaking a foreign language.  

What do you think? 
Confusing or no?
Interested in getting some real support for navigating your role as second mom? Join the free Facebook group designed especially for you!

Keep Learning - Keep Growing - Keep Loving!


Leave a Comment