Becoming a parent is one of the most rewarding, but also challenging, experiences a person can have.
I can tell you from experience that for adoptive moms, there are added challenges that come with raising children who have experienced early childhood traumas. In particular, losing the primary biological relationship with their first mom causes deep wounds.
Jill Briscoe has written about certain things moms cannot do. She looks to the Bible and in particular Psalms 139 so let’s take a look there too.
But first, I want to share the link to Jill’s post. 6 Things a Mother Cannot Do - Just Between Us
Psalm 139 is in the form of a prayer and recognizes how the speaker is fully known by God.
As moms, no matter how familiar we are with our child, God knows them better and more fully and intimately than we do.
1-We cannot know the thoughts of our child as God does.
According to Psalm 139, God knows us (and our child) so well he even knows our thoughts from afar. He doesn't have to dig for information, reconstruct the story or do anything to get the facts straight. As for our feeble attempts...they don't really work do they?
Psalm 139 - Lord, you have seen what is in my heart.
You know all about me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know what I’m thinking even though you are far away.
3 You know when I go out to work and when I come back home.
You know exactly how I live.
4 Lord, even before I speak a word,
you know all about it.
You know all about me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know what I’m thinking even though you are far away.
3 You know when I go out to work and when I come back home.
You know exactly how I live.
4 Lord, even before I speak a word,
you know all about it.
2-We cannot always be with our child…but God can
We cannot always be with our child everywhere they go 100% of the time.
Psalm 139:5 - You are all around me, behind me and in front of me.
You hold me safe in your hand.
6 I’m amazed at how well you know me.
It’s more than I can understand.
You hold me safe in your hand.
6 I’m amazed at how well you know me.
It’s more than I can understand.
7 How can I get away from your Spirit?
Where can I go to escape from you?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the deepest parts of the earth, you are also there.
9 Suppose I were to rise with the sun in the east.
Suppose I travel to the west where it sinks into the ocean.
10 Your hand would always be there to guide me.
Your right hand would still be holding me close.
Where can I go to escape from you?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the deepest parts of the earth, you are also there.
9 Suppose I were to rise with the sun in the east.
Suppose I travel to the west where it sinks into the ocean.
10 Your hand would always be there to guide me.
Your right hand would still be holding me close.
3-We cannot know our child's future…but God can
We cannot know what our child is about to say even before they say it. Verse 4 - "Lord, even before I speak a word, you know all about it."
And as much as we may try, as our children get older, we cannot put borders around them and restrict them from places they would go or situations they would get into.
Children might leave us, but they cannot get away from God’s Spirit and God‘s Presence.
Psalm 139:7 How can I get away from your Spirit?
Where can I go to escape from you?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the deepest parts of the earth, you are also there.
9 Suppose I were to rise with the sun in the east.
Suppose I travel to the west where it sinks into the ocean.
10 Your hand would always be there to guide me.
Your right hand would still be holding me close.
11 Suppose I were to say, “I’m sure the darkness will hide me.
The light around me will become as dark as night.”
12 Even that darkness would not be dark to you.
The night would shine like the day,
because darkness is like light to you.
The light around me will become as dark as night.”
12 Even that darkness would not be dark to you.
The night would shine like the day,
because darkness is like light to you.
Our children cannot hide from God, although they might successfully hide things, activities, and even themselves from us.
4-We cannot heal our child…but God can & he can heal the underlying, unseen wounds
We cannot heal our child from the sins and wounds inflicted by others, from illness or disability. God is our healer. We can follow God's guidance and participate as he leads. But we cannot take on our child's responsibility of obedience and acceptance nor substitute our faith for theirs. God will work in their lives in ways that only God can.
Only God can search and know the hearts and thoughts of our children, and only God can draw them to himself.
As moms we can do a lot of things, but we must understand that God knows our child better than we can and God has more and deeper access to the inner workings of our child than we do.
5-we cannot save our child…but God can
Only God can provide salvation to our child - that’s something that as moms we cannot do.
I like the way this poster said it:
Physicians can place bones back together, but God mends them. Physicians can cut you open and remove a tumor, but only God can heal your body and prevent another tumor from coming back in its place. Physicians can give you medicine not to feel any pain, but only God can heal you of that pain and what’s causing it. God’s way is the sure way. James said, “Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (Jam 5:13-16). original post
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I appreciate if you would leave a comment or podcast review if this helps you.
Dawn
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STANDING IN THE GAP FOR 2nd MOMS
Publishing this podcast & companion blog is one way that I stand in the gap for second moms with similar challenges to what I’ve gone through myself as an adoptive mom.
You can listen & subscribe to the podcast on your favorite listening platform.
(Scroll down for Apple Podcasts & Spotify links).
Plus I offer a free Facebook group for added support. Tap the JOIN LINK for group access.
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Post Adoption (Mom) Coach
“STANDING IN THE GAP FOR 2ND MOMS”
Dawn Baggett is a podcaster and thought leader in Christian post adoption. As a Certified LifeMapping(R) Coach, Dawn helps Christian adoptive moms navigate the challenges of their non-traditional families with their own brand of success!
DISCLAIMER: I’m a coach, not a doctor nor a therapist. As a coach I do not offer mental or medical health diagnosis, treatment or cures. Furthermore, I am no longer a practicing attorney and do not offer individual legal advice. For individual advice related to your own personal situation I recommend you seek out an appropriate professional. Coaching may fill a spot in your overall support network.
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Copyright © 2024 Dawn T. Baggett, JD & Legacy Living, LLC - All rights reserved
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