{part 2}
Last episode covered part one of this unilateral shift, the first in a series of three shifts that I’m talking about throughout this month of April when I’m recording these episodes, so if you have not yet heard part one, you might wanna go back and listen to that episode and otherwise, let’s dive in where we left off…
Last episode covered part one of this unilateral shift, the first in a series of three shifts that I’m talking about throughout this month of April when I’m recording these episodes, so if you have not yet heard part one, you might wanna go back and listen to that episode and otherwise, let’s dive in where we left off…
Acceptance Over Accountability
One of the most transformative shifts a Christian mother can make is moving away from the conventional lens of personally holding our teens accountable for their problem behaviors towards a stance of acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like or agree with their choices, or approve problem behaviors.
The conventional approach towards problem behaviors is often guided by the principle of accountability. While accountability is essential in many aspects of our lives, applying it rigidly in the context of adopted teens' problem behaviors can be counterproductive. Especially when you seem to be the only adult in their life who is doing so.
Understanding the Acceptance Lens
Acceptance doesn't mean approving of negative behavior. Acceptance does not mean letting go of personal boundaries. In fact, getting clear on your own personal boundaries (in the way I have learned and teach boundaries) can and does compliment this shift toward acceptance and away from rigid efforts to “hold accountable”that are creating further division.
An Acceptance lens can include recognizing and validating the emotions and experiences behind these behaviors.
For adopted children, whose past might be punctuated with trauma, loss, or instability, behaviors that challenge us are often manifestations of deeper needs or unresolved feelings.
An acceptance lens can foster understanding and compassion, allowing us to support our children in a way that aligns with our faith and values.
But what I especially want you to notice as you make this shift is the way it opens up space…how by shifting towards a lens of acceptance, we create a space for growth, healing, and genuine connection. 
A space that can easily be crowded out with constantly trying to “hold them accountable” for this, that and the other.
A space that can easily be crowded out with constantly trying to “hold them accountable” for this, that and the other. This acceptance lens doesn’t dismiss accountability but rather counterbalances and positions it within a framework of “authentic modeling” that includes personal boundaries.
Living Out Our Faith
As Christian mothers, our faith teaches us the powerful impact of unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance. By applying these principles within our families, especially in challenging times, we model Christ's love for our children.
This shift towards an acceptance lens within the larger framework of authentic modeling can be a reflection of your commitment to creating a home filled with grace, understanding, and compassion.
It involves setting loving & wise boundaries rather than punitive measures. Importantly, it requires us to reflect on our own responses and behaviors, recognizing the powerful role we play as models of Christ’s love in our families.
The Power of Unconditional Love
As Christian mothers, our faith teaches us the incredible strength of unconditional love. Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7). When we approach our children's problem behaviors with acceptance, we embody this unconditional love. We open our hearts to seeing our children in the light of God’s love for them—and for us.
This perspective doesn’t erase the challenges, but it does reframe them. It also deepens our reliance on our faith, drawing us closer to the heart of what it means to love and serve as Christ did.
And as always,
KEEP LEARNING - KEEP GROWING - KEEP LOVING
đź’śđź©·♥️
Dawn
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Post Adoption (Mom) Coach
“STANDING IN THE GAP FOR 2ND MOMS”
Dawn Baggett is a podcaster and thought leader in Christian post adoption. As a Certified LifeMapping(R) Coach, Dawn helps Christian adoptive moms navigate the challenges of their non-traditional families with their own brand of success!
DISCLAIMER: I’m a coach, not a doctor nor a therapist. As a coach I do not offer mental or medical health diagnosis, treatment or cures. Furthermore, I am no longer a practicing attorney and do not offer individual legal advice. For individual advice related to your own personal situation I recommend you seek out an appropriate professional. Coaching may fill a spot in your overall support network.
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Copyright © 2024 Dawn T. Baggett, JD & Legacy Living, LLC - All rights reserved
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