{part 2}
Last episode covered part one of this unilateral shift, the first in a series of three shifts that I’m talking about throughout this month of April when I’m recording these episodes, so if you have not yet heard part one, you might wanna go back and listen to that episode and otherwise, let’s dive in where we left off…
Last episode covered part one of this unilateral shift, the first in a series of three shifts that I’m talking about throughout this month of April when I’m recording these episodes, so if you have not yet heard part one, you might wanna go back and listen to that episode and otherwise, let’s dive in where we left off…
Acceptance Over Accountability
One of the most transformative shifts a Christian mother can make is moving away from the conventional lens of personally holding our teens accountable for their problem behaviors towards a stance of acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like or agree with their choices, or approve problem behaviors.
The conventional approach towards problem behaviors is often guided by the principle of accountability. While accountability is essential in many aspects of our lives, applying it rigidly in the context of adopted teens' problem behaviors can be counterproductive. Especially when you seem to be the only adult in their life who is doing so.
Understanding the Acceptance Lens
Acceptance doesn't mean approving of negative behavior. Acceptance does not mean letting go of personal boundaries. In fact, getting clear on your own personal boundaries (in the way I have learned and teach boundaries) can and does compliment this shift toward acceptance and away from rigid efforts to “hold accountable”that are creating further division.
An Acceptance lens can include recognizing and validating the emotions and experiences behind these behaviors.
For adopted children, whose past might be punctuated with trauma, loss, or instability, behaviors that challenge us are often manifestations of deeper needs or unresolved feelings.
An acceptance lens can foster understanding and compassion, allowing us to support our children in a way that aligns with our faith and values.
But what I especially want you to notice as you make this shift is the way it opens up space…how by shifting towards a lens of acceptance, we create a space for growth, healing, and genuine connection. 
A space that can easily be crowded out with constantly trying to “hold them accountable” for this, that and the other.
A space that can easily be crowded out with constantly trying to “hold them accountable” for this, that and the other. This acceptance lens doesn’t dismiss accountability but rather counterbalances and positions it within a framework of “authentic modeling” that includes personal boundaries.
Living Out Our Faith
As Christian mothers, our faith teaches us the powerful impact of unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance. By applying these principles within our families, especially in challenging times, we model Christ's love for our children.
This shift towards an acceptance lens within the larger framework of authentic modeling can be a reflection of your commitment to creating a home filled with grace, understanding, and compassion.
It involves setting loving & wise boundaries rather than punitive measures. Importantly, it requires us to reflect on our own responses and behaviors, recognizing the powerful role we play as models of Christ’s love in our families.
The Power of Unconditional Love
As Christian mothers, our faith teaches us the incredible strength of unconditional love. Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7). When we approach our children's problem behaviors with acceptance, we embody this unconditional love. We open our hearts to seeing our children in the light of God’s love for them—and for us.
This perspective doesn’t erase the challenges, but it does reframe them. It also deepens our reliance on our faith, drawing us closer to the heart of what it means to love and serve as Christ did.
And as always,
KEEP LEARNING - KEEP GROWING - KEEP LOVING
💜🩷♥️
Dawn
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Post Adoption (Mom) Coach
“STANDING IN THE GAP FOR 2ND MOMS”
Publishing this podcast & companion blog is one way that I stand in the gap for second moms with similar challenges to what I’ve gone through myself as an adoptive mom.
Listen & subscribe to the podcast for free on your favorite listening platform.
(Scroll down for Apple Podcasts & Spotify links).
The companion Circle of Second Moms Facebook group is a place to go deeper on topics that we touch on in the public podcast episodes along with guided journaling and more. Tap the JOIN LINK HERE for group access.
Group members who want next level support through private coaching with me are invited to apply to my private coaching program.
Through these avenues it’s my desire that many adoptive moms are able to close the gap and feel fully supported in a way that align with their Christian values and helps them grow in their faith while feeling more confident and empowered in their mom roles and beyond.
