One cultural myth that is very prevalent today is that parents must affirm sinful & harmful lifestyle choices that run contrary to God’s laws, or we cause our children terrible harm — like feelings of shame, rejection, fear, insecurity, and to generally feel bad about themselves leading to all kinds of problems for them.
It is presumed that parents are unkind and unloving if we do not also embrace and adopt these choices.
And it is supposedly hateful or even “abusive” to confront these choices and attempt to steer our children in another direction (even if they are still minors living in our homes).
A Different Perspective
BUT the Bible gives another perspective. The Easy-to-Read version says this:
“People who respect the Lord will be safe, and they will make their children feel secure.”
Proverbs 14:26 ERV
If we are wish washy in our own values and beliefs, how can we be an anchor for our children?
If we are insecure and ready to change our minds as to right & wrong, good & evil, as if we’re updating our wardrobe, how can we help them feel secure?
***It’s a cultural myth that kids feel more secure when parents affirm their sinful, harmful lifestyle choices.***
Respectful Personal Boundaries
That’s not to say that we should be bulldozers as our children sort out their own values & beliefs. We CAN practice holding our own boundaries in ways that are gentle and respectful of their vulnerabilities.
We CAN affirm and accept our children without affirming things we know are wrong.
Respectful of God
Have you experienced this in your family and/or been given advice that goes against your desire to respect God & God’s ways?
You can respectfully reject any advice that goes against your desire to respect God according to your Christian beliefs founded upon Biblical truths and values.
If you’ve experienced this issue with one of your children, I hope that this encourages you that God’s got your back when you choose to respect him over this myth.
When your children, your parents, your spouse, or the therapist is condemning you for holding to your Christian beliefs and values, it can feel confusing, like you’re walking a tightrope.
It’s important to have a trusted advisor who is aligned with the same Godly beliefs and values as yours. And someone who understands the types of challenges that come with being a second mom who’s also a committed Christian in today’s culture. If you’re looking for someone like this to support you, I invite you to apply for post adoption coaching with me, starting with a questionnaire to see if we might be a good fit. Click the button below to get started.
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Post Adoption (Mom) Coach
“STANDING IN THE GAP FOR SECOND MOMS in Adoptive & Blended Families
As a Certified LifeMapping(R) Coach, Dawn helps Christian adoptive moms navigate the challenges of their non-traditional families with their own brand of (faith fueled) success!
DISCLAIMER: I’m a coach, not a doctor nor a therapist. As a coach I do not offer mental or medical health diagnosis, treatment or cures. Furthermore, I am no longer a practicing attorney and do not offer individual legal advice. For individual advice related to your own personal situation I recommend you seek out an appropriate professional. Coaching may fill a spot in your overall support network.
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Copyright © 2025 Dawn T. Baggett, JD - All rights reserved
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