A cultural myth that is very prevalent today is that parents must affirm sinful & harmful lifestyle choices that run contrary to God’s laws, or we cause our children terrible harm —  like feelings of shame, rejection, fear, insecurity, and to generally feel bad about themselves leading to all kinds of problems for them. 

It is presumed that parents are unkind and unloving if we do not also embrace and adopt these choices.

And it is supposedly hateful or even “abusive” to confront these choices and attempt to steer our children in another direction (even if they are still minors living in our homes). 

BUT the Bible gives another perspective. The Easy-to-Read version says this:

“People who respect the Lord will be safe, and they will make their children feel secure.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14‬:‭26‬ ‭ERV‬‬

If we are wish washy in our own values and beliefs, how can we be an anchor for our children? 

If we are insecure and ready to change our minds as to right & wrong, good & evil, as if we’re updating our wardrobe, how can we help them feel secure? 

***It’s a cultural myth that kids feel more secure when parents affirm their sinful, harmful lifestyle choices.***

That’s not to say that we should be bulldozers as our children sort out their own values & beliefs. We CAN practice holding our own boundaries in ways that are gentle and respectful of their vulnerabilities. 

We CAN affirm and accept our children without affirming things we know are wrong. 

Have you experienced this in your family and/or been given advice that goes against your desire to respect God & God’s ways?

If you’ve experienced this issue with one of your children, I hope that this encourages you that God’s got your back when you choose to respect him over this myth.

When your children, your parents, your spouse, or the therapist is condemning you for holding to your Christian beliefs and values, it can feel confusing, like you’re walking a tightrope. It’s important to have a trusted advisor who is aligned with the same Godly beliefs and values as yours. And someone who understands the types of challenges that come with being a second mom who’s also a committed Christian in today’s culture. If you’re looking for someone like this to support you, I invite you to apply for post adoption coaching with me starting with a questionnaire to see if we might be a good fit. Click the button below to get started.